EDIT

Hello fellow zombie workaholics ... just a quick update, last post was meant to annoy some people...did the job wonderfully...more people than I intended on pissing off got offended, so I say it was a good day.

This reminds me of my coffee break with some friends a while ago, I remember talking about the old days on the goth forum, when I was this guru , spoke fluent sarcasm and apparently people were intimidated by me, watched their words arguments and grammar around me...that was so cute to hear from an actual friend that felt the same before actually meeting me. She knows better now, that I`m actually pretty harmless and peaceful...oh but don`t let that kill my reputation :P I enjoy being hated...it`s better than being ignored. Also I find it amusing that no one knows my name but by my username? oh dear...I`m famous and it`s not like I`m any kind of online celebrity, I keep a rather low profile...must have been just the forum then...

Damn I must escape this vicious circle of work-internet-sleep, hmm...maybe if I quit my job...maybe.

Dear paper...

...now paper I hope you don`t expect any personal notes here, no no doll, I have too much respect for me and the people I care about to display them here for all to see no no...we`ve talked about this...look up "personal" in the dictionary.

Now I know starting a note with "..." is unacceptable but call me a rebel call me a hipster call me anything just call me...seriously, this way I may just find my phone :) (that was soo ADD of me)

Focus Foofs focus...alright, well paper, everyday life has not changed so much since we last spoke, I may have changed just a tiny bit but I cannot tell whether for the better or for the worse, everybody is a little bit insane even though they can`t see it, and that really is just fine...

Oh paper, but I have found entertainment, you see , I used to feel annoyed with stupid people now I just enjoy every second of it, from the bimbo at work that gets confused by a PC mouse to the "drowning in its own saliva in his sleep" blogger... oh paper I had no idea the amount of moron I had to learn just to understand them but oooh paper it`s all so delicious...no use talking to them though....imune to reason or logic these people are, and this is where reasonably smart people fail and get gray hair before their time... you do not argue with an idiot, you`ll get so frustrated by their imposibility of grasping facts that you`ll go insane...no no...in such a conversation you do the following: identify IQ, if idiot then troll (informatics flashback) and enjoy yourself :)

Been forever since I met and talked to people more inteligent than I...and I consider myself just a little above average intelligence wise, so shouldn`t be so hard...but I suppose intelligent people you don`t normally find in clubs, bars, on facebook or god forbid myspace and livejournal ...

well my sleeping pill is getting cold...got to run..

need some sleep

Want to know a little about your humble zombie writer? well....by what i write you could tell already: I`m old, fat, single, jobless, anorgasmic and i look like this: * arrow up *
I say I`m hanging in there, considering my let`s call them, missfortunes. Hey, not everybody is blessed you know...

But I do try to change you know, I sure am...I hear wearing all black is cool now (gotto be cool so i can think i`m better than everybody else out there, very important)...and having a mob mentality (uhhh, people have to like me you know...but not all, just the cool ones), being insecure is also in I hear, because, I hear, men like their women easy...hmmm what else?...should find me a man, I mean how else am I to pay my bills and get my food ?

One day I too will be pretty and have my own youtube vlog where I`ll talk about how important and interesting my life is...just you wait :D I have dreaaams...

dedication

to my "obsession"

http://vimeo.com/13780191

love it!

nobody knows...

tonight i felt ok, really ok, a bit loving too considering :) ...and at random i watched this movie Nobody knows, a charming movie about 4 brothers that move about from home to home trying to have a normal life with their mother who is still trying to find the love of her life and get married...while she runs off trying to find love the children take care of themselves, don`t go to school although they`d wish to and don`t get out of the house so the neighbours don`t find out how many they are and force them to leave...one brother has to take care of the rest, cook , clean, handle the money...

charming sad movie i have not finished watching yet :)...
i suppose we all want something or ourselves to be known at some point but can`t do anything about it most of the time.

and this makes me wonder about something: how many of us gave up something we wanted for someone else to get what they want ?

rants part i don`t care let`s just get on with it

I took the liberty to update my what pisses me off lately list . So without further ado here it is:

* people that brag about their sex life. seriously . how insecure can you be, to brag about something that newsflash! everybody is doing...trust me when bugs and animals do it, everyone is, you did not invent it and you do not excel at it, it`s a natural need. what`s next ? bragging about breathing...i wouldn`t be surprised.

* no lifers. people are dying in Japan, people are dying of starvation and in wars, resources are scarce, jobs, taxes, economy is down...and you`re pissed by spam mail. your life must be really empty that you actually check your spam mail and get surprised no not suprised, shocked by what you find...but yes, please blog to us about your favorite tea flavour and how your greatest achievement was staying up late to watch 10 movies...please waste our time some more...get some grown up problems or shut the fuck up.

* people that have no idea what personal stands for. really, journal whether online or not is personal, for you only to see, not a tacky display of your most boring thoughts and daily activities. trust me honey, no one really wants to know what flavour your cupcake is, that you own a camera, and that your boyfriend is X. really, get over yourself. Nobody cares.

*pseudo feminists. you know who they are "yeah yeah equal rights for men and women...me? get a job? be independent? but i`m lazy plus my hubby takes care of me so why on earth would i really try?" how do you expect to have your partners respect as a human being how can you be taken seriously when you reduce yourself to an average housewife? to think women in the past risked their liberty and their life just for you to have this freedom and you abuse it, you should feel ashamed. go ahead breed, you officially have no other purpose in this life.

to be continued...

come on, do it, you know you want to

So I`ve noticed a stupid trend...how people let their taste dictate the rest of their life like : "oh I like goth music, I suppose I should wear gothic clothes and only have black stuff around me, God forbid people mistake me for an individual, I want to be GAWTH and to fit in the best way I can!"
I want to be better than that, I want to invent myself to not look at the label, to not wonder what people think...to just choose what I like because I like it...I`ll admit I don`t know exactly what I want who I am or what is it that I like exactly...but I refuse standards...I don`t want a lot of people around me kissing my ass and talking behind my back, I so not need contacts so I`ll never suck up to anyone, i don`t care about my reputation and I`ll always tell you the truth, it`s your choice how you decide to take it...
I`m sick of men not bothering to surprise me...I`m sick of women jumping through hoops just to get attention from men....I`d rather be alone, I`d rather isolate myself than be around all of you...